lin night

I thought this was well written and very good. It really seemed to get inside the head of the girl in the poem. Whether intentional or not, I think your ...

Please rate this "R" that's all I have to say for now, maybe I'll come back later :roll: Cheerios, Chandni hehe you're not very nice :D

you're easily my favorite writer on this site and this is why.

pretty great. my favorite part is: "they had cut out his eyes: they knew not how much those things leaked."

You don't have to take my advice if you don't want too: everything I said is my opinion, and this is your story. I - as a reader - found ...

let's debate this, in good sport: i think it's unfair to impose your standards of how a person should behave on the story. could it not be possible for joy ...

We're left unclear about character motivations and that makes them less likeable and/or relatable. This is a decent start but as it stands doesn't leave much of an impact.

hey man i hate dashboard confessional and bright eyes as much as the next guy but that doesn't mean i'm throwing around "emo" as a derogatory term and poking fun ...

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The frankness of the piece is refreshing. However, Marley comes off as a little one-dimensional in my opinion. I'd be interested in more why and less what.

Can't say I really understood it but the feeling is there.

Good flow. But it didn't cut as deeply as it probably could have.

This is great. Dark, eloquent.

you're bringing sexy back to tyws.

Great last line--made me chuckle.